i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
