so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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