Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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