Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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