D3 body, D1 cock
i barfeds in our rink
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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