Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think my vagina is haunted
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
