And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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