I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
