the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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