school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
