she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
