Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
