You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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