I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
