Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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