Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
