so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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