im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
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21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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