LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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