I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
