someone get that fucking seahorse.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
