On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
