speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
