are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
this just has baby written all over it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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