good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
