Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
