gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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