just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I could fuck to npr.
i now understand why vodka
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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