omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize