he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
