some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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