Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
