Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
