It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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