hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
