No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
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uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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