Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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