Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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