Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
