Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
