If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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