guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My vagina is very pro this idea
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