New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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