Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
