Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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