We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
