Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
