Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
