4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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