I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
