you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize