Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
