these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
