I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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