He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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