trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
