Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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