I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
