Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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