yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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