She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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