Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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